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2009 is almost over.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Happy Late Christmas, Everyone!I just can't wait for 2009 to end. I've had so much drama this year, I just can't wait to start over again. I've had my worst, my best, and my okay moments. I wanna move on. I wanna MOVE. where everyone doesnt know me at all and start a new life. I wont apologize for who I am. People knows I've got problems, I think they should just stop judging me and I'll stop judging them aswell. I don't wanna be in a circle of people where they talk about me behind my back. I know that everyday people will talk about me, eventually. But I think they should just stop, because FIRST, they don't know me. They just know me from people they know and from my sister. I wish they will take a time to come get to know me first, I don't bite. I'm nice to people who are nice to me.. and please, don't judge me because of what IM GOING THROUGH right now. I didnt ask for this, i just wish that people would stop asking and just start respecting. I wish they could feel what I feel too. So that they will know how much it hurts to be in my position. I come from a family where no one cares about me, well maybe they do, but they don't show it. I come from a family where no one talks or share about their lives. I come from a family where they don't say 'I love You' to each other and doesnt even eat dinner at the same table and at the same time. I come from a family that no one knows a single thing thats happening with their personal lives. I come from a family who doesnt celebrate Christmas Eve and doesnt GO TO CHURCH. I come from a family who is not friendly to other family relatives. I come from a family where I barely know my cousins, ninangs, and ninongs. Heck, I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE NAMES OF MY GRANDPARENTS. I never even met them, except for my Lola who took care of me. I guess that's why I'm like this, and I won't apologize for who I am. I made myself like this because of my life and Im sorry I'm not the type of person who is nice to you all the time. I have problems. Lots of them, and I bet I'm not the only one with issues, I bet you stupid motherfuckers who judge me, YOU ALL HAVE ISSUES with yourself too. I'm not a warfreak, drama queen, and frank person, I JUST KNOW HOW TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF. I don't like people bringing me DOWN. I'm not that kind of girl who you can easily defeat. I know how to defend myself, call me a b!tch, I DONT CARE. I know how to stand up for myself and IM DAMN PROUD OF THAT. You can call me whatever you want, but I'll never forgive you for what you made me feel. I don't have bestfriends, heck i don't even think i have friends who actually cares for me. Gosh, i know Im the worst person in the world. I'm actually worst than those people who made wars. I am my own worst nightmare. BY THE END OF THIS POST, I'M GONNA FEEL MUCH BETTER. Keep reading, I'll give you a lollipop after. So, yes. I am a bad person, so what? I am a bad friend, so what? I am a bad daughter, so what? I am a bad sister, so what? Like you people we're never mean to your folks too. I just want people to know what IM GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW IS HARD AND LETS BET A THOUSAND BUCKS YOU CAN'T LAST A DAY IN MY LIFE. It's like im living in a lonely life. I just can't wait to finish high school, finish college and HAVE MY OWN LIFE. I swear to god, I'll work hard to get my dream job, and my dream life so I could just escape the life IM LIVING IN RIGHT NOW. Im not done rambling just yet, FOR 14 FUCKING YEARS IN MY LIFE I'VE NEVER EVER EVER FELT LOVED BY MY FAMILY. NEVER BY SISTER, MOTHER, BROTHER, ONLY FROM MY FATHER. But that comes rarely. He only talks to me when he's in a good mood. I just wan't to have a life where everyone could understand what Im going through, and understand my feelings and a friend or a family that i can share my feelings too, cause right now my blog is the only thing i could let out my feelings. Atleast, my blog won't judge me. Whenever i try telling someone my problems, no one ever listens. So thats why i don't bother. I just wanna be happy. HAPPY. that's the only thing i want right now.... IS TO BE HAPPY. and for people to forget what i did, and forget what is wrong with me. People tend to notice the wrong things about the person and never the right things about them, when people hear stuff about one person, that judgement about them will last for a lifetime. I just wish people can just stop believing what they hear and start believing things from the right person. I know that people can forgive what other people did, but they can never forget how they made that person feel AND thats what i feel right now. I just want forgiveness. I just want to rewind everything in my life and i wish i could just be a baby again, start over and live my life for the 2nd time. I know those chances only comes rarely, but i guess im one of those people who needs start over because people can't forgive her. I've been a really bad person and i just wish people can forgive me. PLEASE GIVE ME CHANCE TO SHOW YOU THAT IM A GOOD PERSON, THAT IM NOT THAT PERSON YOU THINK I AM. I CAN BE NICE, BECAUSE IM REALLY NICE!!! JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE!!!!! SUMMER!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
AFTER 2 MONTHS OF NOT POSTING....i remembered i had a blog.... then i checked it and decided to post. hahaha So it's summer... and im super enjoying it, i can't believe it's almost JUNE! :( i dont want school to start pa, and i dont want junior year to start... it seems so fast. : i dont want to be a junior pa. so this summer... I joined Trumpets Playshop in Podium... STREET DANCE TEENS B 09! :) first it was awkward cause i didnt know anyone... then i met lara. then we met gen, janel, aya, lax, and marika. but marika is from section C, with RANDY. jealous! :( dapat kasi no transferring of students na! =)) anyhoo, they're so much fun. we always get introuble cause we're so noisy in class and coach james has to be infront of us, or in the middle of us para we could behave. :))) i dont want playshop to end pa! we have like 3 sessions left. :( then our showcase is on may 28 and last practice is on may 27! :( so sad. :( i love you wock it out girls! :D i love stdb 09. we're like 35 in our class. :O so dami noh? :O but fun! i know half of the people in our class na. =))) summer's just amazing. im cool with the girls na... and i lost one friend this summer. everyone was right before pa, they told me not to trust her but i was to stupid to trust someone like her. you want to know who it is? ill tell you. IT'S JASMINE. yeah thats right. i dont hate her, i hate what she did. i was so nice to her and everything, but all along she was spreading rumors and trashing me behind my back. what a bitch. hahaha anyway, i told her i dont need a friend like her anymore. she told me she was jealous of me thats why she keeps trashing me. hahaha what an immature freak. she cant grow up and get over what happened nung grade six when everyone hated her. hahaha! she thinks everyone hated her cause of me, but no everyone hated her because she's such an annoying little bitch... keep all of your "sorry" words. i dont need it. :) cause like what i said... i dont need a friend like her. PERIOD! im glad i dont have to deal with her attitude anymore... im free atlast! :) OMG I CANT BELIEVE I WATCHED BOYS OVER FLOWERS ::: it's so gay. :)))) no offense sa mga may like. last time i watched one of those stuff is nung F4 days pa ata. ohmy :))) but i was watching it together with the re-run of AMERICAN IDOL. im so inlove with KRIS ALLEN :"> when he smiles... it's soo nakaka-AWWW! :"> i can't believe he's married :( simon was right... dapat he didnt reveal na may wife siya. haha kidding. Kris is my favorite idol contestant after elliot yamin. i lovedddd elliot yamin's voice. i wonder what happened to him? :( no surprise if adam will win... he does hot performances every week : i can't wait for thursday! FINALEEEEEEEEEEEE! :D ANOTHER HOUR OF SLEEPING
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
NAT TOMORROW!no reviewing needed. haha.. relax lang daw. ;) TODAY we had 4 exams.. pressure much! BIO, FIL, PE, AND MUSIC. bio was surprisingly easy, i was expecting alot of punnet square and terms and such, but they didnt give us that much. im so happy i might pass bio! yay. :) filipino, pe, and music was easy too... pe was the easiest. music is easy.. if you know everything.. hahaha. SO THE JONAS BROTHERS POSTED A NEW BLOG POST IN THEIR MYSPACE... THEYRE ANNOUNCING THEYRE WORLD TOUR TOMORROW!!!!! im freakin excited to find out if philippines is included, im dying to meet those boys. i almost cried when i read their blog.. and im seriously gonna cry if i find out theyre going here for real!!!!! i find plurk boring, i opened my plurk awhile ago and saw alot of... UPDATES. kaloka much. :)) well whatever.. im not really in the mood to blog right now. go listen to THE AFTERS, theyre really good. A G O
Saturday, March 7, 2009
HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :)i havent blogged since last week. it's march already, in two weeks school is over, but first i have to pass my last exams. on monday it's longtest week na, then quarterly week, then BYEE!!! anyway, i was absent for two days and i feel like it's sunday today cause i was absent for two days. lol? moving on.... i got sick nung thursday, biglaan then my mom got worried bat bigla daw akong nagkasakit so we went to the hospital, then i went to town after. it's the day red jumpsuit went to town to have their concert, im supposed to watch it with eo, pero i got sick. he was texting me that night asking me where i am, but i dont have load so sorry. hahaha then when he went online and i was online he asked me if iwatched the concert i said no cause i got sick, then he said sayang it was so nice pa naman and blah.. hahaha im supposed to go to school nung friday cause i was okay na, pero tinatamad ako tapos im feeling dizzy pa so i stayed home nalang, then i felt ok na nung afternoon so i went to paula's house to finish our home cooking. then paula bought vodka cruiser, so we drank. pasaway noh? kakagaling lang sa sakit tas uminom agad. hahaha we crashed dominic's house rin.. grabe so linis! parang walang nakatira sa house nila. lol... roy got confined daw sa LPDH, we went there tapos wala siya! we bought oranges for him pa naman. tapos i left na, the others went to roy's house.. sayang i wasnt there! hahaha i missed roy :"> and ohyeah awkard much my sister's friends went to our house and i was like there and they were like looking at me like i dont know.. they're weird. :))) there's wifi na pala in mcdo. =)) i went to moa today, then went to st. lukes to visit my mom's friend.. then i saw someone familiar i forgot his name, but im sure he remembered me cause he was looking at me and all, im supposed to say hi to him but i dont know his name, i forgot his name na eh, i think he was my classmate in abs?! hahahaha whatever. :))) i heard this on ryan seacrest's radio channel kanina he was talking to the lead singer of all american rejects then he played "womanizer" covered by the all maerica rejects when i heard it i was like laughing out loud, then my mom looked at me.. i was listening kasi sa phone ko tapos ayun. hahaha i love their cover! :))) makes you L O L random ... i want to watch britney's concert "circus" according to the critics it's not the best show ever, but it's the best comeback ever. ahhh! i missed you britneyy! :D A. GO :"> he has perfect hairrr. i love him na! thanks frannkie/ snuffalafagous! :> 4 test on monday! crap! STRAPPY
Thursday, February 26, 2009
i just got home, soo earlyy! :)STRAPPY - new name. thanks paul and david, goshh i hate you guys. lol. grabe, nakakahiya yung nangyari sakin with paul and david. di na ulit ako makikipaglaro kay david, kung ano ano nalang nangyayari sakin. :)) like the strappy incident! fuck man. :)) buti nalang only them saw it. or not. basta it's nakakahiya. i dont want to elaborate it, it's one of my MOST embarrassing moments EVER! haha :D anyway, i wanna blog about something else besides that ^ during math class, i felt like crying.. i almost did, but i didnt. i didnt wanna show other people i was.. so i just slept... but seriously i felt like breaking down awhile ago.. like naiinis ako. i dont know, when i think about people laughing at your problems.. nakakadisrespect, and HURT. alam mo na ngang may problema yung tao tas tatawanan mo pa? what if kung ikaw yung may problema at ikaw yung tatawanan ko. would you still laugh about it? i want to tell someone all of my problems but i can't. i feel like i have super big trust issues na. "i dont want another friend i know i can never trust again" -Lauren Conrad. true that. there's a big difference between good people who does good things, and good people who does bad things. i dont know.. i feel super down lang talaga kaninang math time. i want to laugh this fucking shit off, but i can't. it's damn too serious and i hope, just hope, people would understand. so i'm thinking.. since steffi is going back to southville? you know? nah. but who knows. summer is just around the corner! :) during dismissal something really happy and awkward happend. super kilig :"> i know na "wala na" pero after what happened dun sa gate.. AHHH! :) i can't lie, he's damn fine. :) :) :) "i was having the worst day of my life, until i saw his smile" he saved me again for the second time. a coke a day keeps the badtrip away.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
ASH WEDNESDAY! fasting, abstinence. fasting - wont spend 100+ today, i did it! i only spent like 45 pesos for the carbonara. combento - convention c/o - cooperation -chen today was just dull, i felt sleepy the whole day. i dont wanna go to school na tomorrow, i feel soo... UGH. low. :( laughtrip lang nung music ehh, "DOOOOO!" -Roy "rest rest!" haha. my seatmate, esguerra had an accident today, it was bio class and we had no teacher around. them boys we're playing ketchup, and they tried playing it using their heads. abnormal ehh =)) heads daw! malamang accident ang answer dun. lol boys talaga. get well soon seatmateee! :) one tree hill is over, i cried. poor quintin... i liked him pa naman, oth's episode is sooo... grabe! i love you brooke. i want to be like her, minus the bitchy mom. i want her fashion line, her magazine and her company! haha. no wonder victoria's so jealous of her. hahaha... thursday tomorrow :( may classes pala on friday. bs much. HAPPY DAY!!! :)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I LOVE THIS DAY.i love this day. i love this day. why? :D causee.... SOMEONE.... IS OVER. :D i dont wanna say it here, but i'm just so happy. thanks czar for the news, i love you. you saved me from that frustration i was in. gaaad. i'm kinda over what he said, and hopefully i'll get over him too. ohyeah, another thing to love about this day is.... SAME TIME sila nag text. :D love it! :x lucky day? and i passed math. :P dad allowed me to have tutor in math, yay. super low ng math ko for 3rd quarter, gotta catch up really bad. anyway, tinatamad nanaman ako mag school tomorrow. it's always every wednesday na tinatamad ako, i dont whyy. ugh... i hate wednesdays. NO CLASSES ON FRIDAY! :D |
CHEN here. I am nowhere near perfect, never will be. I say things that you might wanna strangle me. I eat when im bored. I fall for boys easily. I have friends and enemies. I have good days and bad days.
I hope that someday i wont fake a smile. I live through quotes that will help me get through the day. Music saves me from everyday boredom. I can't stand people i dont like. I'm your average teenager. Live it. Love it. Learn from it.
xoxo.
just get back up
when it knocks you down